Anger is a normal human emotion. However, when it's unresolved or unchecked, it can lead to devastating consequences for the person holding onto the anger and those around him or her.
The American Psychological Association warns that when anger "gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life."
Most people understand the logic of this, and have probably had enough life experience to confirm it, but when anger takes hold, logic and rationality are among the first casualties. How can a person combat anger? What advice can help people dealing with anger? Are there any surefire methods to control anger?
The following tips should help keep anger in check:
- Practice deep breathing -- from the diaphragm, not the chest. Consistent, deep breaths will help one's body to relax.
- If at all possible, a person should remove herself from the situation that's causing the buildup in anger. Even if it's for a few minutes, a quick "mental break" can de-pressurize things and keep the volcano from erupting.
- Slowly and thoughtfully repeat a calming command -- such as "Relax," "Everything is going to be okay." The body and mind will eventually respond to firm declarations.
- Imagine a pleasant, soothing scene or event.
- Become "Mr. Spock." A person feeling their emotions are running away from them should force themselves into the role of Mr. Spock from the classic Star Trek series. Spock's way of suppressing his half-human side was to give himself totally over to the Vulcan way of logic, rational thought, and detached emotion.
- Don't assume the worst. Sometimes, anger builds up as a result of one's imagination conjuring up the worst outcome of a situation or presuming the worst motive or intent on the part of another person. One key to controlling anger is to first control the mind. A person should make her imagination work for her and not the other way around.
- Commit an act of kindness. Anger makes a person want to strike out and hurt someone or something. To combat that impulse, a person should do the exact opposite. Rather than hurl an insult at one's spouse during an argument, a loving husband should instead reach out kindly with his hand and say "I love you." Kindness defuses hostility.
- Speak softly. There's a biblical proverb that says: "A soft answer turns away wrath." One of the best ways a person can reduce anger and tension in an argument is to lower his voice.
- Look for humor. When a person is mad, the last thing she wants to do is laugh. But laughing is a tool in everyone's arsenal. Laughter is the best medicine. Use it to combat anger and depression. Just don't laugh at the other person during an argument. That will have the opposite effect.
- Stretch. A person feeling that his anger is reaching critical mass should stretch their body out. Roll the neck and shoulders. Reach for the ceiling. Stretch. It will help relax the body and ease tension.
The above tips may not be feasible to carry out in every situation, and it probably won't work to implement all at the same time. But the above ten tips for anger management are, on balance, surefire ways to combat anger and take control of one's emotions.
Brian Tubbs - Brian Tubbs is a minister, writer, and former educator living in Northern Virginia. He writes on personal development, faith, and ...
